


my heart will be lovelier than this

by blushlix



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Cuddling, Fluff, Introspection, Kissing, Lee Felix is a sweetheart, Lee Minho | Lee Know Is Bad at Feelings, Lee Minho | Lee Know is Whipped, M/M, happy early valentines fuckers heres to being single another year, i honestly dont know how to tag uh, no beta we die like men, very very very and i mean barely there light angst its just inner turmoil honestly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 13:08:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29226000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blushlix/pseuds/blushlix
Summary: It seems impossible that he hasn’t said it already, when it’s the only thing that’s been on his mind for what seems like an eternity now. With every mundane action, every time Felix laughs or touches him, every time their eyes meet, Minho thinks it, again and again and again. I love you. I love you. I love you. But he’s kept quiet for so long that by now he feels like his lips have been sewn shut, the words welling up in his mouth like blood.
Relationships: Lee Felix/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 6
Kudos: 47





	my heart will be lovelier than this

**Author's Note:**

> hellour me again with surprise surprise more minlix yayy
> 
> title is from someone like me by twice <3

Ever since he realized it, it’s been playing in the back of his head like a song stuck on repeat, and Minho really wants to tell Felix, but everything starts getting a little blurry the more he thinks about it. Has he already told him? Has he only thought about telling him? Has he only _dreamt_ about telling him? Or is he going to tell him and find out he’s already told him a thousand times before? 

It seems impossible that he hasn’t said it already, when it’s the only thing that’s been on his mind for what seems like an eternity now. With every mundane action, every time Felix laughs or touches him, every time their eyes meet, Minho thinks it, again and again and again. _I love you. I love you. I love you._ But he’s kept quiet for so long that by now he feels like his lips have been sewn shut, the words welling up in his mouth like blood. 

_If I just loved him less_ , he thinks miserably. _If I loved him less I would be able to say it so easily_. But everytime he opens his mouth, it’s like the words are trapped behind the enormity of his love, and he just can’t get them out.

Ironic that when he does say it he didn’t even realize he was thinking it.

They’re lying in bed, bodies wrapped around each other, and Felix is telling him a story in a low voice that sounds like home. And Minho isn’t entirely sure what he’s talking about, because Felix’s hair is messy and his face is bare and he’s pretty sure the shirt he’s wearing is his, but he can feel the puffs of breath from where the younger boy is talking against his neck, and he wishes they could just stay like this forever, Felix warm and pliant in his arms and the husky cadence of his voice like a lullaby in the quiet room around them. 

He knows he’s staring but he can’t stop looking at Felix for anything, can’t stop drinking in the sight of his rosy, freckled face where it’s pressed against Minho’s shoulder. He’s not particularly interested in astrology, but he thinks he wouldn’t mind studying the field if it meant gazing at the stars on Felix’s face, learning the galaxies that spiral across his skin. He wants to press his mouth to every single one. 

Felix notices, of course. He notices everything when it comes to Minho, and the older boy isn’t sure whether it’s a blessing or a curse to be known so thoroughly by someone, inside and out to the point where Felix can tell by just looking at him that something is on his mind. The younger boy pushes himself up with one arm and smiles down at him sweetly.

“I’m sorry,” Minho apologizes, even though Felix hadn’t complained. Felix didn’t really get mad, and he certainly wasn’t about something like this, just curious. And sure enough, he just shushes him, still smiling.

“What are you thinking about?” he asks softly, and Minho idly contemplates the plush velvet of his mouth. He’s so beautiful, Minho’s heart _aches_ with it, something fighting to push past his lips, and when the answer comes he doesn’t have to think about it at all.

“You,” he says simply, and Felix’s eyes widen in surprise, a pretty rosy tint crawling up his neck. 

“Oh,” he breathes faintly, but Minho isn’t done.

“I love you,” he tells him quietly, not looking away. When Minho realizes what he’s said his breath catches, but he doesn’t take it back or move, just watches the younger boy for a reaction. 

Felix’s lips part slightly and now _he’s_ staring at the older boy like there’s no one else in the world but them, like he’s the sole center of his universe, and when he whispers back _I_ _love_ _you_ _too_ something shakes loose in Minho’s chest. 

He doesn’t know what to do with the feeling. Doesn’t know what to do with his heart. 

So he just pulls Felix down and kisses him without saying anything else, hoping it’s enough, hoping Felix will understand what he can’t put into words. 

Felix makes a tiny little noise and melts into it. And judging from the way he kisses him back, he gets it.

Minho feels so _greedy_ but he can’t help it, Felix’s mouth is something he’ll never tire of losing himself in and when he silently asks for more the younger boy surrenders without question, letting Minho take and take and take. Maybe he feels Minho’s need for some kind of reassurance without words after the unexpected confession that left his heart feeling too big for his body. Maybe _he_ needed something, just to make sure they were okay, or maybe by some miracle Felix is as addicted to Minho as the older boy is to him, but either way Minho is grateful when he doesn’t make him talk but just kisses him back steadily, sweetly, making him feel so wanted and special and _loved._ His hands come up to tug gently at the Minho’s hair, and the older boy flips them over so he can have easier access to Felix’s face, kissing his freckles as he pulls his shirt off. 

Felix giggles when Minho’s eyelashes flutter against his skin, feeling the ghost of a smile on Minho’s mouth as he presses his lips to Felix’s jaw before pulling away. His hands slide up Felix’s body to cup his face as he kisses his lips one more time before ducking down to mouth at the curve of his neck. 

And Minho doesn’t believe in god but he thinks he could find a religion in the crooks of Felix’s body. He presses his mouth to his freckles like he’d thought about doing earlier, the moles leading him lower and lower down on his quest to kiss every one. He starts whispering _I_ _love_ _you_ s between drags of teeth and tongue, not stopping even when Felix repeats it back to him in a shaky voice until the words are cut off by his gasps. 

He doesn’t believe in heaven, but he thinks this is about as close as he can get, Felix writhing softly underneath him, his voice high as he whines for Minho, his hands fisting in the older boy’s hair.

Minho thinks he kind of gets it now, understands a little why Icarus never turned away from the sun, instead flying higher and higher still, even as his skin was burned by wax and his wings began to falter. All those feelings, almost too big for his chest and so bright and beautiful they _ache_ threaten to consume him, but Minho can’t let go of them, doesn’t even want to think about how empty he would be without them, without Felix.

He reaches up to kiss Felix again, pulled into his orbit by the gravity of his eyes and his mouth and his _everything_ , like a lost planet that’s found the sun again, and together in each others’ arms, like dying stars, they collapse. 

//

Felix always handles Minho so delicately, like he’s made of glass. Despite all the energy and movement and laughter he’s so gentle with the people he loves.

Minho thinks it’s a beautiful thing, to be careful with the people you love. And he’s absolutely breathless at the prospect that he can be considered someone Felix loves. 

As if hearing his thoughts, Felix drops a kiss on his temple from where he’s drying Minho’s hair and whispers, “I love you.” Minho can hear the smile in his voice. He’s pretty sure he has a stupid smile of his own when he says it back, not that he can find it in him to care. 

They both sound like broken records at this point, but Minho is still reveling in the way Felix whispers it like it’s a secret for him only, with the corner of his mouth curled up and looking at Minho so he knows he means it. He’s still amazed by the way Felix’s smile turns into one of shy delight every time Minho says it. He wouldn’t mind repeating it a thousand times over just to see Felix’s face brighten every time he does.

When Felix is done he runs his fingers through Minho’s hair a few more times, partly to try and get it to flatten down and partly because he just loves playing with his hair. Minho’s eyes flutter shut of their own accord when Felix scratches lightly at his scalp, and he can feel petal soft lips pressing chastely against his neck. 

When he turns around he catches Felix’s lips in a short, sweet kiss before dragging him to bed. He’s not really tired, but he wants to cradle Felix in his arms and let the sound of his deep, steady breaths lull him to sleep.

Felix is cuddling up close to him and the covers are really warm and Minho feels so happy he could burst, the kind of happiness that’s like a thousand suns where his heart should be. His eyes are drooping and he’s aware enough to know that he’ll fall asleep first this time, so he murmurs one more heartfelt _I love you._ He thinks he may have set himself free with these words that came to him so easily now.

The last thing he hears is another _I love you_ , and he’s not sure if it’s from himself or from Felix, but in the end it doesn’t really matter because Felix’s mouth is pressed to his temple and then he’s drifting off.

**Author's Note:**

> aand thats a wrap very short this time but i might upload some more stuff soon im trying to get all my drafts out so yeah look out:D
> 
> btw i wrote this a while ago after scrolling on ig and reading a lot of hopeless romantic love shit so some phrases and stuff are definitely things that were in the back of my head at that time but i hope i didnt outright take anyones quotes?? like from literature not random captions anyway i dont think i did but i despise plagarism so if u think i did u can lmk and ill definitely rewrite whatever parts are questionable i wont get upset or anything dw:p
> 
> this is a skz fic but if im being honest it has literally nothing to do with skz i just wanted to write something because i felt terribly lazy 
> 
> feel free to leave constructive criticism <3 kudos and comments motivate me i crave validation ᵕ̈ wash your hands and stay safe !! 
> 
> oh and btw due to recent events that have transpired i just want to remind yall to never invalidate or dismiss any marginalized groups feelings and reminder that you can love someone while acknowledging that they fucked up bad and hold them accountable too . if you love someone then you want them to grow and babying adults get them nowhere and removes you from reality as well . good talk anyway wear a mask yall
> 
> disclaimer : everything i write is pure fiction and should be taken lightly !! i am in no way attempting to imply or assume anything about the members' personal lives or relationships with each other !! and i do not ship seriously this is more of a creative excercise than anything else !! thats all thank u


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